Prefer It That Way
by kellyanne
Summary: “Ever kissed a Conlon before, Higgins?” Heehee...written for Gothic Author because she asked. Race is heartbroken (or so he thinks) and Spot is his shoulder to cry on (among other things *wink*) Spot/Race. Chapter 2 is an A/N...me just rambling, actu


**Prefer It That Way**

**By** Sweet Anne

**Rating:** PG-13…angry Race at the beginning

**Disclaimer:** Ok…I don't own Newsies. That's obvious.

**Summary:** *grins* This one's for Gothic Author. You asked for Race and Spot fluff. Here you go. I know isn't fluffy in the beginning and I'm not sure how fluffy it will actually get, but Race and Spot get together and don't kill each other, so be happy :D  

            The room was dark, but I was still laying in my bunk, wide awake like I had been every night since you left me. I couldn't sleep because I just kept thinking you might wake up in the middle of the night and realize that I was right for you. I was the guy that you'd want forever. The one you'd want over _him_.

            You had other things in mind, apparently. You left me, giving me no reason as to why you did it. You just decided I could deal with life on my own. 

            I wish you had told me the real reason you left. _Dutchy_. He's why I'm alone. He's the reason I'm no longer able to sleep at night. You, Specs, found him and fell for him. Blah diddy fucking blah! The classic romance. Boy meets boy and falls head over heels. But what ever happened to the first boy, eh?? The one that made the other realize that kissing another guy wasn't wrong. The one that showed the boy how to love another guy, both physically and emotionally. What happened to him?? You left him. You met someone better and left what you used to have, what you used to think was the best. That just happened to be me.

            I heard you two together. _That's_ how I found out. You crept over to his bunk because you thought everyone was sleeping. I buried my head under my pillow, but I could still hear the pants and moans. God, it made me sick. It echoes through my brain every time I try to sleep, hence the self-imposed insomnia. 

            What really pisses me off is that you didn't tell me. Why couldn't you just have been honest and said, "Dutchy's a better lay. Sorry." I know you'd never say anything like that, but it should have been something along those lines. It shouldn't have been a note in the canister that held my cigars and cards, saying that we were over. I shouldn't have had to find out by hearing the two of you fuck.

            God, if only you knew how much you hurt me. Then again, I'd never let you know. That's the beauty of a poker face like mine. I've worked on it for years, since way before I met you. I would never let my father see how bad he hurt me when he beat me as a child. It's the only reason he never killed me. He wanted to see me in pain and I never made so much as a noise as he punched me or whipped me with his belt or cut me with his pocketknife. 

            As I was lying still in my bunk, I heard the creak of a mattress and then saw your familiar form moving across the room. Towards _him_. I remember when you'd do the same with me, walking silently to my bunk when everyone was sleeping. I could still smell your musky scent and feel every curve of your body. I loved your curves. It was almost feminine, the way your sides were shaped into gullies that I couldn't keep my hands off of.

            You took it all away and now you expect me to lie in my bed and listen as you screw around with Dutchy. No, I won't do that. 

            I stood up and grabbed my hat, knowing that the two of you had stopped and looked over. I didn't even bother to meet your gaze as I walked to the door, making it creak as I opened it and slam as I closed it. I wanted the guys to wake up and see the two of you with your hands down each other's pants. You made sure we were a secret, but I was _not_ going to give you that courtesy twice.

            It was raining when I walked outside. The feeling was refreshing and comforting, but I knew it wouldn't take away the pain. No, it wouldn't wash away all the hurt you caused. I couldn't see how anything would.

            I fell to the ground, my entire body shaking with anger. The rain, the mud…none of it mattered. I was pissed off and tired of feeling pain because of you. I was Racetrack fucking Higgins, for Christ's sake!! You shouldn't be allowed to have an effect on me!!

            "Higgins, what are you doing out here?"

            I looked over my shoulder and saw Spot standing a few feet behind me. He didn't look like himself at all. His eyes were bloodshot and his entire face looked tired. What was he doing in Manhattan at this time of night??

            "Enjoying the weather," I snapped, not even stopping to think that I was talking back to Spot Conlon.

            He sat down next to me, raising an eyebrow when he heard the squishing of mud under his ass, "Nice weather to enjoy. It's raining." 

            "I like the rain."

            Spot laughed at that, "Kid, no newsie likes the rain, especially not you. You refuse to sell when it's raining, even if it means going to bed hungry just to pay Kloppman for rent."

            "I usually go to bed hungry anyway," I muttered, looking up at the lodging house. I wondered if any of the guys had caught Specs and Dutchy together.

            "What's eating at you, kid?" Spot asked, taking off his hat to run his hand through his hair. Raindrops stuck to his eyelashes. God, he had long eyelashes, "Girl troubles?"

            "No," I said quickly, finding sudden interest in my boots. I think I was even blushing.

            "Boy troubles, then? Specs leave you or something?"

            My eyes widened, "How the hell'd you know about that??" I felt my heart dropping to about my knees. Who else knew?

            Spot shrugged, "Jack mentioned it."

            "God," I mumbled, burying my head into my hands, ignoring the wet feeling it brought to my entire face. Up until that point, my hat had been keeping my face pretty dry.

            "Don't worry. He didn't tell anyone but me. I made sure of it."

            "And you didn't…you know…peach about me kissing guys, did you?"

            "I wouldn't do that to you. Besides, it's not anyone's business but your own."

            I managed to pull off a half-assed smile, "Thanks." 

            Spot didn't respond. He just leaned back and let the rain touch his face. He looked so damn beautiful, his hair matted to his forehead and his moon-kissed skin glowing under the bulb of a streetlight. Not even Specs had looked this beautiful to me. God, I think I was having one of those Where-Have-You-Been-All-My Life moments. That thought made a full, true smile spread across my mouth. 

            "You should stop thinking about him, kid," Spot said, his eyes still closed.

            "I'm not," I whispered, taking a deep breath. I couldn't understand this. Spot was one of my best friends. I shouldn't look at him like I had looked at Specs. Like someone I wanted. Someone I could love.

            "You sure are thinking of someone. Never heard you this quiet since I met you. Who's on your mind, then?"

            "I'm fine," I said quietly.

            "I didn't ask if you were fine. I asked who you were thinking about," He licked his lips and I silently cursed. God, he was tempting me like you wouldn't believe.

            "No one, Spot. Can't a guy just be quiet for a minute?" My voice sounded choked and untruthful. I should've just written "I'm lying" in big, bold letters across my forehead. I knew he'd catch the lie in my voice. 

            "Sure, but you're not the kind of guy that's quiet for no reason," He said. My brow furrowed and I thanked God his eyes were still closed. Why hadn't he confronted me about the lie?? Had he not heard it?

            "Just drop it, ok?" I said slowly.

            "Fine," Spot snapped, opening his eyes and meeting mine. He studied me for a moment, then his brow furrowed like mine just had, "Do you love him?"

            I tore my eyes away from his, not able to take the piercing gray anymore. Did I love Specs? I thought for a moment about Specs and our relationship together and all the times we'd spent in each other's arms. Then I thought of Spot and, surprisingly, I found my answer, "No."

            "Then why are you out here?" He asked, tipping my chin so I had to look at him again. His hand was warm.

            "It was better then being in there, hearing them together." I closed my eyes, my face burning where his finger had just touched.

            "Two guys can only last so long out in the rain. Do you mind if we at least get into the lobby?"

            "Afraid you might get sick, Conlon?" I asked jokingly. He smiled and I could only stare. He had a gorgeous smile.

            "Let's just get inside, ok Higgins?" He offered me a hand and I took it graciously, glad to be off the ground and even more thrilled to have touched his skin. He let go once I was on my feet, which kind of made me angry. I liked holding his hand.

            It only took a few seconds to get back into the lodging house. It probably would've been quicker if Spot hadn't insisted on being quiet. I guess he didn't know that us Manhattan newsies slept like rocks. I flopped into a chair once we got into the lobby, not caring that Kloppman would have my head if he knew I was sitting there soaking wet. Spot went over to the fire and made my heart stop when he took off his shirt to let it dry. 

            I bolted from that chair, standing up as straight as I could. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, which made me laugh. God, he was pale. Beautiful and pale, with hard muscles and delicate curves. 

"Ever kissed a boy before, Conlon?" I blurted without thinking. I mentally slapped my forehead, busying myself by unbuttoning my shirt to hide the blush I could feel creeping up my cheeks. God, my fingers were fumbling on the buttons.

"Prefer it that way," He said. I looked up from underneath my eyelashes and he flashed me a devilish smile that made my breath catch. God, I hadn't expected _that_ answer. He laughed as I continued to fumble with my buttons and walked over, standing in front of me in all his shirtless glory, "Shirt's giving you trouble? Let me help."

I closed my eyes as his finger ran down my chest, sending chills up my spine. He laughed again and brought his finger back up to the first button.

"So you're really over Specs?" He asked, undoing the first button, then the next. I bit back a moan and nodded. For all I cared, Specs could tap dance naked in front of me and I'd ignore him. There was only Spot and I.

"Ever kissed a Conlon before, Higgins?" He asked, slowly undoing the last button and sliding the fabric off my shoulders. He smiled, meeting my eyes as he tossed the shirt aside. Spot tilted his head a bit, waiting for my answer, and licked his lips. I'd bet anything he did it to tempt me. Not that I needed tempting. 

"The opportunity has never presented itself," I said, placing a hand right where his side curved. He raised an eyebrow, his gray eyes laughing. God, I could feel my heart begin to melt.

"Here's your opportunity, Race," He licked his lips again before leaning in so I could feel his breath on my face. I grinned, not willing to let this opportunity pass me by.

Closing the distance between our lips was probably the smartest thing I've ever done in my life. Kissing Spot was like finding my own personal Eden and, even if I'm sent to hell for saying this, the world seemed like it belonged to only him and I. Everything turned to soft moans and frenzied movements, body heat and tenderness. It was just perfection in the form of two boys. 

It seemed like hours before we broke apart, both our eyes glazed over with passion and caring. I don't even remember coming up for air. Spot _was_ the air. He was the air and the sky and the water…everything!! He was my world, the reason I existed at this very moment!! I couldn't imagine finding peace in anyone's arms but his.

He nudged my head off his shoulder and made me look up to meet his eyes. They were still bloodshot, still tired. My brow furrowed but he only smiled.

"Haven't been sleeping much," He said, knowing the question that was forming at my lips. I ran a hand through his hair.

"Neither have I," I looked back up at him, my hand at the nape of his neck, "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"I was worried…about you. After Jack told me…I just couldn't stop thinking about how you were, how you were dealing."

I smiled for the hundredth time that night since Spot had arrived and ran my hands up and down the curves of his sides, "But I'm ok now. And that's thanks to you." He grinned and leaned in to kiss me again, sensations of warmth and love and passion radiating through my body as our mouths raged a war between each other.

We climbed the stairs to the bunkroom together, our shirts still gone and smiles still stuck on our lips. The anger and the rain and then the passion between the two of us had taken away all my energy and we both laid down in my bunk, wrapped in each other's arms, still amazed at how perfect we were together. 

I watched as he fell asleep, his breathing steadying almost immediately. I could only smile. He was _mine_.

And, right as my eyelids began to grow heavy, I looked over at the bunk I knew was Specs' and silently thanked him for breaking my heart. In doing so, he had given me Spot.

And, for the first time in days, I slept.

**Author's Note: ***grins like a fool* I actually like how this turned out. Thanks for asking me to write this, Gothic Author :D   Review People!!!!!!


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